i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
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