I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
