just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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