I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
