Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
