sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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