his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
