im having a threesome with these popsicles
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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