His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
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