Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Randomize
