No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
