it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize