There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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