New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
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