Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
her facebook's as public as her vagina
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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