Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
