Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
