Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
