She said her name was "party"
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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