Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
only you would photoshop your dick
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
