I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
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