wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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