I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
God, I missed his penis.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
