I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
