There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Randomize
