I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
