i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Randomize
