I seem to have left my pride at pride
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Randomize