R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
another moral hangover. fuck.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize
