I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
