Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
