I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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