i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
