yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Randomize
