I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
