He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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