make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
