i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
