she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
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