We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
