My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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