My brain says no but my pants say off.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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