Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize