I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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