Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
