I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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