I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
