It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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