just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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