Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
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