Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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