I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
