I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
