now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
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