You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Randomize
