Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
