I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Rumble strips road head = magical
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
You may now shotgun with the bride
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Randomize
