We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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