I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
