I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
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