All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
